"I give you full creative freedom."
Those are both exciting and ever so daunting words to speak to me. To have that level of trust in anyone is in and of itself a risk. Ben from Creative Mornings gave me a theme that would prove to be prophetic. I immediately sat down and brainstormed concepts and ideas. Visual thoughts about risk. Feelings of risk. What if I used a risky camera in a risky situation with a risky subject? What if this? What if that? Everything was either very generic or contrived. So I did something quite risky: I put it aside. I stopped thinking about it with the trust that at the right time and the right moment the right concept would make itself known to me.
And it did. And it didn't work out.
And another idea came. And it proved to be just as unattainable.
This pattern continued a few more times. I started to panic. I started to confide in others about my panickedness. "Trust yourself; trust the process," they would reply. And so I did, and I discovered that the riskiest concept to me was vulnerability and placing trust in something that wasn't fully in my control: letting go.
And so I let go.
It is before you, behind you, all around you. An uncertainty that is both terrifying and exciting, and you just. can't. stop. thinking about it. So you not only reach into that uncertainty, but, like a child, you let go and fall into it with your whole being, because you can't get there without giving up a control you were so desperately holding on to. It's a free fall, and now all your trust is in the process and that the ground will be there when it comes time to land.
So you embrace it.
You learn from it.
And regardless of the outcome, there is a strength where there may not have been before. Because you were afraid. You were afraid, and you did it anyway.
And that is risk.
I can't thank Ben and Creative Mornings enough for giving me this opportunity that has resuscitated a side of me I believed had been lost long ago. And also my friends who are full of reassurance in my times of "I don't think I cans." Erin James can't be thanked enough for allowing me to continue to use my muse, her daughter Penny. I am also so appreciative of Michael Winters at Material Print Shop for his feedback and printing expertise.
Thank you. Cheers. And tacos.